Slightly

I went to a concert last night and the first thing I did when I got home was pull up this brand new post. She {the singer} inspired me to write and I'm running with it because the will and want to write lately hasn't happened very much.

So here it is - the posts I like reading most on other people's blogs ... Honest Ones!

I have been in a rut and not a blogging rut because there was never a clean and/or clear pattern to my writing but more so I've been in a life rut - since March. What I've come to realize is you can hide from your feelings for so long before ultimately they bump crash into you! Now some things I single handily brought on myself like the fact that "if I became involved in 20 million things I wouldn't be able to think, therefor I would be fine" … and raise your hand if that has ever worked out for you *pssshh I know, I know I was just kidding myself.

In the spirit of true blogging transparency I think I was slightly depressed - {don't you like how before depressed I still find the need to say 'think' and 'slightly'} okay I was depressed aka sad, unhappy, downhearted. I let the grief get the best of me. I wasn't depressed in the clinical sense, sit in my room and hate myself I was just super sad and downhearted about our situation and while everyone around me was celebrating life milestones of happiness I was stuck in feeling sad no matter how happy I wanted {and tried} to be for them.



S O U R C E

My clarity moment in realizing I was slightly depressed came when we spent two weeks caring for a dog that was just not right for our family, in so so many different ways - I thought for sure that is what we needed when in reality I needed to come to terms with what was going on in my head and how I was actually feeling. {ps the dog has already found a lovely home}

I needed to start saying no and drop out of the 20 million things I'd signed up for since March. So I'm slowing it down {well I'm trying} and I'm taking some time for me. I'm praying again and building up my relationship with Him - feeling foolish I let it slide in the first place.
The best part of all of this, is now that I realize I was depressed {and I really think that is the most important - realization} I'm starting to feel unstuck!!

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Have you ever thought  you were slightly depressed?? How did you handle it?

Wordless Thursday

A wordless Thursday post maybe isn't a thing but I have an abundance of photos so this is what you get!! 

There is a Season

According to God (Ecclesiastes 3) there is a season for everything and not just season in terms of weather.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

I feel I'm caught in verse 4 - weeping, mourning; laughing, dancing. I have so much in my life to be thankful for, so many reasons to laugh but at the same time I feel stuck with all the feelings that come with loosing Brea.
365 days ago we met her for the first time and my heart was so full of joy, so excited that after the loss of Gunner we could have a family again, this time was going to be different - until it wasn't.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her like crazy. As sad as it makes me that she is gone I have to read {and re-read) the verse above and know that God has a plan and this hurting is part of it.
With time I know the hurt will fade and a new season will begin!

Where is Time Going

Honestly where does the time go and how is it May 15th already.

Day 135|365 that is just crazy!!

The number of times I've tried to write a post is pretty high and instead of saving it in drafts I've just completely deleted the whole thing - sometimes this blogging thing is hard!

My life has felt like a whirlwind lately and since I'm all about the lists with my new found love of bullet journaling that is what you are getting as a recap of my life as of late; a list and pictures::

:: My sister and I {with the help of my dad} successfully threw an early 60th Surprise Birthday party for my mom. Her birthday isn't until June 4 but we decided on Mother's Day weekend instead and thank goodness that we did because it was the perfect front to not cause too much suspicion!!

:: I'm in love with Create The Cut and their florals make me happy to sit in photoshop for hours

:: Even if life seems to be zooming by I still made time to sit, read and laugh at my fat cat

:: My sister put an offer in on a house and since I never had that experience I'm ESTATIC for her and her boyfriend!! {crossing my fingers the home inspection goes good}

:: Steven and I planted Hydrangeas {okay he planted and I watched and watered them when he told me} along the fence in our back yard and they are so cute. They are the incrediball variety so I can't wait until they start getting some Huge blooms!

:: We were really hurting for rain and now since it has started it won't stop and we are really wanting sunshine. Sometimes I think farmers are bipolar because one week they want one extreme & after they get it, then they want the other extreme haha

:: I went in to the Dermatologist for a skin check on the 8th. I hadn't been there since 2011 and had some moles I was worried about. I ended up needing 2 removed {one on each breast} and had that procedure done on the 12th. So now I have stitches and I am hoping and praying that the tests on the moles comes back with no abnormalities. It is still a scary thing to go through and I really wish those test results were instant!!

:: Met up with my best friends for supper this week and I really wish we all lived in the same town - it was great to see and talk to them in person instead of via technology

:: This weekend we aren't slowing down either - Tonight: is Ron White - Tomorrow: My youngest SIL graduates from college - Sunday: Soon-to-be-cousin's Bridal Shower :: Whew, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead ;-)

Hope you all {the 3 people that read my blog hehe} have a wonderful weekend and if you are Norwegian don't forget to celebrate Syttende Mai!!

March 2015 #mrslaurabeth365 Recap

If you follow me on Instagram you'll know that I have been keeping up with my 365 Photo Challenge however the recap for this 'lil blog took me almost a month to complete.
The fact that March was a really sucky month and I wasn't on my computer much contributes to my late post.

But here you go a recap of March 2015